When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone.

      It’s been another long day for me. As usual, i was struggling to wake up this early morning when my alarm triggered at 0630. It’ll be quite a long journey to reach my destination for this morning. 2 hours of changing between tube and train, i’ve finally reached the training centre. I met with new mates and went through hours of training together. I’m glad that we finished earlier than expected, which means i’m most likely to be able to get to work on time. Consequently, there will not be a deduction of my pay for tonight. In order to save money, i actually walk from the station to where i work.

     While working, i could see bunch of young kids passing by. Some looks ‘okay’, but many looks ‘horrible’. I would say that they’re all very ‘disturbed’ children. Supposingly, this country is strict on selling alcohol and cigarette to under-aged people. Yet, you could see that young kids around 11-15 in age, are smoking and drinking at all time. I really wonder how they managed to get those stuffs??? During late at night, the last bunch of kids that passed even smashed a bottle of alcohol on the street, leaving those broken glasses right outside the restaurant. I had to went out sweeping and warned all passerby to watch out for broken glasses.

      After work, i could see that there’s lotsa ppl coming out from pubs. Some were ‘high’, some were badly drunk. Some were looking so rough after puking. Whereas some were literally just shouting/yelling on the street. Frankly, i was afraid a lil for being alone waiting at the bus stop. Fortunately, it did take long before the bus arrived. In fact, i got a free ride home.
       I’ve been thinking about all that had happened throughout my day. First, those new mates i met in the training. Then, those people who walk passed the restaurant as well as those who were out there on the street and everywhere, in the middle of the night. They all came from all walks of life, with different behaviour, personalities and background. Most importantly is a gal i met while on my way home.

      I took the same path which leads to my home. Alone, i walk down the path where i came across with this young gal in between. I heard the argument she was having with someone else from far when i got off from the bus. She was crying, sobbing… I don’t know what had gotten into me, but i just walk up to her and asked if she’s okay? I gave her a hug and a shoulder to cry on. She told me briefly about what had happened. I looked into her eyes and see nothing but an empty soul. Her makeup had messed her entire pretty face. I gave her a piece of advice and encouragement, of which i hope she would remember it.

      I had the intention to walk her home but she insisted that her house was just round the corner and her friends were nearby. Therefore, i left her there alone and continue to walk back home. As i walk away from her, when i turn around and look at her, i saw a gal with her back facing me. There’s nothing but loneliness and heart-broken little gal. She’s in great despair and sadness. I could feel that her heart is scattered yet filled with anger. What she’s going through in her life right now, can be regarded as ‘dramatic’ to others.

     In one same day, i’ve met so many people and seen so many things. Basically, when bunch of people are having fun or going through the happiest moment of their life; At the same time, others may be going through ‘Hell’ in their life. Those troubled/disturbed youngsters, they would never able to imagine how it’s life for those who’s in pain/despair. I doubt they would ever know how to appreciate the people around them when they still have the opportunity. HUman tends to takes things for granted or neglects things of which and of whom they have.

        The face of the young girl and the look of her back reflected by the light from the lamp post in the dark night, remains locked in my head. I could not get rid of that picture. I wonder how is she now? What will happen to her in the future? Will she remember that she met a stranger  + bypasser, who tried to comfort her while she thinks that she has no one in the world? Will she ever take my advice into life? I sincerely wish that she’ll remain strong and battle through all the hardships that she might encountered in her life. 

     I believe that all human beings may have ups and downs throughout their entire life. Sometimes we cant help but to think that how great it would be if we are able to manage through the test and survive in this world…………..

      Today has been the most worn out day for the week. I was literally working from 7am till 12am nonstop. Waking up at 5.30 to get started for work and ending up at 3.20am after bath…GOsh…..

      I was doing the opening shift with manager today. She was literally giving me hard times at work. Once she sees that i’m ‘idle’ for one minute, she’ll call through the intercom and get me to do some jobs… Thus, she was suggesting this stupid and extremely embarrasing task. Of which, i have to grind the coffee, and do some demonstration in the store; in the attempt to draw attention from customers.. WTH….

       I made the xtra mile to prepare some complimentary food along with the coffee that i’m about to make for presentation. Literally, no one know what i’m about / was doing with all the stuffs on one small table at the corner. Until i went all out with tray of food and coffee, going around in the store and asking for customer to try the coffee. I felt as if i was literally doing ‘coffee tasting’ with them… Gosh..Unbelievable….

       WHile i was doing all the stupid job, manager was literally just ‘lookin’ from the bar… Everyone was smiling, including her; as everyone know it’s super dupa embarrasing task.. Yet, she sent me to do it. Claiming that everyone will be doing, end up no one else do that apart from that.. Obviously that she’s trying to give me hard time. I would says, she sensed that i’m most likely unhappy about her acts and the way i reacted by not being as enthusiasted and dedicated like how i used to be.. Well…She cant blame anyone..It’s all due to her stupid decisions and stupid acts…

        By the time i’m about to be off from SB job, i felt as if i’m floating instead of having my foot touching the ground.. I manageed to had a super quick Venti coffee i made myself before i rush to the next job in 2mins and get started to work again.. It’s been a busy evening. Lotsa customers today, the restaurant was basically full house!. There’s one customer given me 5pound for tips. She asked me to keep for myself.. Unfortunately, i was not allowed to do so.. All tips have to be share equivalently among the staffs.. Well, at least we still can get our tips. As compared to SB, which all tips will end up going , dunno where they’re going….

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    Well, it seems like i was blogging until i fell asleep. I didnt aware of it until i woke up this afternoon..

    Gosh.. tonite have to workand so as tomorrow.. my feet is killing me…. how iwish i could go for a perfect massage like what we have back in  our country.. The flu and cold that everyone gets now,i get it as well. This make my condition even worse….i wish i would recover soon… god bless!

    Today was a f*ckin day with loads of f*ckin assholes around… Despite of the cold weather with lotsa ppl being sicked, it’s as well a damn annoying day…

    Went to work wiv darn tiring look, yet was with better mood. HOwever, all became a disaster when i got to the store. The first thing i saw was my manager sitting with the bitch again, ‘E’ to represent the bitch. They’re literally discussing about her book, looks like she’s getting signed off for her core1. BLoody Hell…

    Sid told me that she is getting signed off either for her core1 or core2. I overheard the conversation about getting her for supervisor training as well. That’s a fucking shocking news to me.  WHY am i so pisssed off?  First, i got my book done ages ago and no one seems to bother to check and signed me off for my core1. Meanwhile that bitch was here later than i am, and in just few months, she’s being signed off now, TODAY!!! Gotta be some kinda joke, but in fact, it wasnt! 

   HOw is it possible to sign someone off as a barista when she could hardly be on the bar for one whole day, managing drinks correctly, like for jst 10drinks at least? HOw could someone get signed off when she cant even mark the cup correctly? THus, she  even know what’s the difference btw ‘Dark Mocha Frap’ and ‘Java chip Frap’? Like what they said, the necessity for a good chef to excel is to be able to get the simple job done perfectly, which is cleaning the cups n plates and utensils. It’s the same for this as well… That bitch cant even get a simple cup clean properly, get the floor mopped properly, get the coffe shuttles done properly; yet, she get signed off for her core 1. Kiss my Ass!!!

     I’m not jealous that she’s about to go for training as supervisor as well. It’s all about her capabilities and her attidues.. Yet, she started acting like a supervisor on me as well. BLoody hell. Well, when manager ask if i’m alright today as she said i looked tired; She added ‘ Well, at least you’re still looking clumsy!” WTF!!! If she would say it in a joking way, i’ll still be alrite; but not in that sarcastic way! I really felt like giving her a punch on her face right at the moment! DUh! Although i admit to everyone i’m clumsy person in the store, but that doesn’t give you the right to be sarcastic to me with that! At least, i am far more better off than you.. Unless you could clean as i could, you could make drinks as i could, and do better than i am; THen only you talk to me in that way! Else, you better Fuck OFF BITCH!

    She and what she’s been doing really get on my nerve! I’ve never been so rude, not until i’ve met her. I’m not against who she is to be honest. It’s all about what she does which annoyed me very much.. At least, i’m not the only person who feel that. Apart from the bitch-alike supervisor and the male supervisor, others who’s been doing things properly and not a bitch or bastard, disagree with her as well! But, what’s the point? In the end, manager still listen to that coffee-master , the male supervisor! If three of them ever get to work together, the entire store is turn into a bitches and bastard territory. If i ever get to work with three of them on the same shift, i’ll always remain quiet and just doing my job without getting involve. Else, i think ppl will feel that i’m one of their clique, one of the bitching members too.

      There’s so many things happening in the store right now. All the shits that had been pent up in me, i feel like throwing ’em to our district manager! I really had the urge to do so, at least today! Going back to DM’s question, asking if i have any question for him. I wish to say that i have questions now… I feel like asking him, how someone get signed off for core1? Is it only best in bitching and being a slut, flirting in the store; snaking, running away from their appointed position/task? Cant even make a proper drinks? etc?  On top of that, what do you expect from a supervisor? or a candidate for supervisor on training? WAs is just becoz you’re too desperate in having a supervisor for your store, then you just pick the one who’s BEST at licking your sweet-rosy ASS??? If ’YES’, then ’FUCK’ is the only word that will come out from my heart which i’ll have to swallow down my throat!

      They’re so lucky to have hired two new gals, who’s good and obedient. If they’re assigned under those useless chaps and not being trained properly from now, which is just the beginning; I assure them that they’re gonna be influenced by the bad influences and ending making the store worse than ever! Stupid! REally those stupid leaders! They really have their brain grown underneath their fucking stupid ASSes.. They should have picked up their own ‘pu’ and eat instead of eating human food!

      Sorry for having to be so ‘uneducated’ and keep swearing here, but i am just so agitated!!! THey have their store situated at the best and promising location for making moeny, yet they employed those stupid bastards and assholes to manage their store. If i could get a job with equivalent pay and more or less the same type of customers, i would have considering resigning like others.They used to have potential staffs but they, themselves had forced those good trustworthy, staffs to leave. THey worshipped the wrong ppl!!!

   If i go straight to DM and make him open his eyes about all this craps,it will mean disrespect of my manager. If i go to my manager, it wont make a difference like other supervisor had mentioned. It seems like manager is being threatened by the only coffee master she’s havin, which is the male czech supervisor who flirt with the ‘E’ bitch.  Simple question, would you show your newly-bought bra n panties set to your male supervisor who has a girlfriend? She did that to Sid. Lucky that Sid is a loyal and good guy, not a bastard like the coffee master, to fall into her trap. Hooray to Sid! That’s why i told him i love him so much! COz he’s able to remain stable from any ’seduction’! A girl like that bitch will actually turn into a shy little kitten when her bf comes to visit her each time! I feel like throwing up upon seeing that each time! REally SuckEd!!!

    She even tends to flirt with male customers most of the time. Amongst was my friend’s fiance. When my friend was making the order and paying for the drinks, the slut litreally jst ignores her and keeps smiling to her fiance, making eye contact with him. That poor man, he’s a kind and friendly man has to smile back to her blurry without understanding what she’s up to! Well, at least they are not the only couple who encountered this. I noticed for a few times, some of their GFs were literally not happy about it when she does that!

     Gosh! i salute her for such ability of her, a true ‘WHORE-to-be’! 

     Damn it! i’ve been faggin alot today over such useless ppl and useless shits! I hope they’ll get their bad Karma someday.. I’ll be most happy to see that happen…

     ‘PuTt toh, puTt toh’… for the bad karmas i’ve created today as well, for swearing…. Sorrry….

         It was just two days, yesterday and today; yet, many things had happened within these 48hours.

          A nite before, i was totally crashed by a very depressing news. I was devastated. The feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness and shock, all mixed up at the same time. I was disappointed becoz all my efforts in doing things were all in vain. I felt agitated because of ‘unfairness’ which happened between people and the treatment they get. I was shocked because someone got something which they do not seems to deserve, while someone who deserve better result end up losing to those who does not deserve it.

       I was up till 4am in the nite which i was devastated. Yet, i was supposed to get prepared for an interview with our district manager in the next day. Of course, i was not in a good shape at all the next day. LIterally, my mind was off. Basically, i do not prepare anything at all. There i was, at work. I started to behave in a way which i never did, at least while at work. My manager, supervisors and colleagues were all so surprised by what i had said and what i had done that day. Then, there comes the moment which i was summoned to sit down to have a ‘chat’ with our district manager.

     First, it was an introduction about myself. I don’t actually feel the pressure throughout the chat, the pressure came only after our conversation ended. Throughout the conversation, i think i was talking rubbish. I think i was either muttering/mumbling nonsenses… After self-introduction, i was asked why i chose SB? WHY? I told DM that i was doing my case study on SB before i actually came to work with them. I was inspired to try out at SB becoz it’s a plc with g8 diversity. On top of that, i’m interested to see how it’s like at the shopfloor as compared to their background/management which i’ve studied when doing my coursework. WEll, i hope these replies did answered his question.
     Then, here comes the main ’purpose’ of this conversation. What do i think about my manager recommending me to become a supervisor-on-training? Well, this was a tough question. I wish i could be frank but eventually, i did not say what i had in mind. Instead, i said i was “SHOCK”. Again, ‘WHY?’. Mmmmm………….WHY? First, i’m the only asian here. Never expect myself to have a chance. ‘Coz, maybe the management will choose someone who has simliar ‘management’ style like the local? I answered something like that to the DM, which i ended up feeling so stupid.  Apart from that, why i’m shock? ‘Coz, i’m wondering what will happen after this? Imagine you suddenly become a supervisor of your own peers? What will others think about this? DM asked does that relationship had to change? Well, stupid question. Of course not to me, but, you cant help making others from not happy about this change; DONT YA???? Of course i’ve answered in a more polite and nice way. Then, i wrapped up by saying :” I’ve told S(my manager), that i’ll b committed and dedicated as long as she’ll guide me through to qualify as a supervisor!”.

     After ending our conversation, i got back to work but things didn’t work out very well for me. WHY?? First, i keep making wrong drinks for the same one drink. Either with wrong kind of milk, or wrong drinks after changing to the right kind of milk. Second, i had whipped cream splashed all over me and everywhere on the bar when our DM stood on the till. How come? COz the stupid rubber thingy was not in the lid, causing that embarrassment to happen while i put in the gas. STUPID ME!

       All my colleagues, supervisor and manager were looking at me and smiling in a secretive way…. They all had the same look in their eyes, which seems like saying ” What happen to Rebecca? What’s wrong? How could she actually do this right in front of DM? She must b out of her mind”… Ya, i think i did. It was a terrible day for me. Everything is a mess… I screwed up everything!! Idiot me.

      Meanwhile, the supervisor-on-training who just get signed-off and officially become a supervisor  that day just kept showing off. Keeps singing ‘I get signed-off”……as if no one knows she’s officially a supervisor now. DUH! There’s one thing i particularly hate is that she just keep yelling my name no matter where i go, then ask me to do this , do that.. There’s other ppl why cant she jst get them to do it for awhile, instead ofjust keep calling like 10times in 20mins. BLoody Hell.. I got so annoyed of her keep calling me. It has been a bad day for me, yet still have someone doing such annoying thing to me. Bet she still ask what’s wrong with me and that i looked unhappy, with no shame.

     There’s a 360-degree change in her that day. Before, she seems to be very dedicated to do all the jobs. Right after she get signed off, she even gave order to another supervisor. During the closing, she just disappeared into the office leaving 3 baristas on top doing the jobs. She showed up only when we had done 99.9% of the job, then only she showed herself and asked us to be quick in finishing up the rest then get changed to go back. BLoody hell!…. This is another real BITCH!!!

      When i got home, i was so worn out and depressed. Then, i found out that i cant go online. My mobile had been barred for not paying the bill. I did make an attempt to pay few days back, apparently the payment didnt get through. Tried to make payment through phone, but the services line is closed at that hour. DamN!! After several attempts to connect to broadband, it still failed.I just gave up….. I just cant do anything at all…. What a day? Why all the bad things had to come at once? Nothing just seems to work for me.. Everything just goes wrong! I ended up sleeping earlier since i was so tired and i cant go online.

        Got up early morning today to prepare for work again. First thing i did is to call the mobile company and try to give authorisation for them to charge my bank for the bill. FiNally, that chap helped me through and my phone is up and running again. But, i was so late for the bus to get to work. I was running like hell, almost lost my breath when i step my foot on the bus. I was chasing after the bus.

        At least, there’s a turning point for all the bad times i had yesterday. I managed to fix one problem early in the morning before i get to work. I was trying to find out about home broadband from mobile company. Ended up, my call was transferred to a stupid guy with stupid ascent.. Very rude and unhelpful which i don’t even bother to talk to and hang up after he gave me an answer whihc pissed me off.

       I approached my manager and asked about what DM said about me. Surprisingly, i made it through. Not sure if the DM really really thinks that i’m the right candidate, or both of them just giving me ‘face’ by saying nice words… Or they chose me just because they do not have any other option/candidate???

       Rumors always spread fast, faster than wind and thunder…..Suddenly, one supervisor started to approach me to find out what’s the outcome of my conversation with the DM. THenn, the second one came asking..then the third one.. In the end, even on regular customer also a barista came asking me if i’m a supervisor? I don’t know what should i say? Should i say yes? Or, should i deny it? I was speechless… I tried to avoid from answering but she just wont give up. I end up saying ‘not really, not sure’.. Then, i asked her back ‘WHY??”.. She just said she heard some rumors. Well, obviously someone had told her bout this. It’s either my supervisor, that snake guy; or the other ’snake @ bitch’ barista. Coz only two of them were on the till today.

      One supervisor who is closed to me, told me that maybe that ’snake’ male supervisor is not happy today because she did not propose that snake@bitch barista to my manager when she was asked who would be the best candidate as a supervisor. Well, it seems like i was not the only one notice the male supervisor is very ‘GOOD’ to that barista. In the end of the day, i was so surprised when he suddenly congratulates me. I asked how he feels about this, what he thinks about me becoming a supervisor.. He answered: ” I’m happy for you”.. Well, he still didnt answer my question correctly… It’s obvious that he’s not really agree with it but he has no option since my manager had made her mind.

     Looks like i’m about to have more hardtimes in the coming days…..How am i gonna handle what about to come?????GOSH!!!!!!!!

     In my life; there’s always an intersection of fate, luck, & hardships!!!!!!! Thus, it’s always about making tough and complicate decisions…WHY???WHY???WHY?? Why it always has to happen to me??? Kinda sicked of all these craps…

      I pray to GOD/BUDDHA….please spares me some merciness and helps me through whatever that i’m about to encounter……..Fingers-crossed that everything will be fine….at least will be slightly smooth, then i’ll be grateful…..

     A typical sunday, entirely whole-day working for me again…. 
     Surprisingly, vendors are setting up their stalls…… There’s even some small ‘funfair’ going on…. Was wondering what they’re up to? What day is it? As i walked further….. I found a shooting rail on the street with a man sitting on the ‘movable’chair on the rail…. Mmmm….. another shooting for today…. Actors and actresses were dressed up in those ancient clothes, while some are having their makeup done by the makeup artist. I wondered what movie are they shooting???? Local movie? or ‘international’ movie?

     Surprisingly, i was just 1 minute late despite the bus being late…..We opened on time and started to get busy. We were expecting it to be busy but not Crazy…. At first, crowd were standing around the shooting scene…..IT seems that there was a scene whereby those actors/actresses were setting up fire with smoke everywhere… FIremen were around on standby (in case of any accident)…. They were quite lucky, as it started to rain only after the shooting ended. Then, the crowd gradually dispersed… Here’s the time when we get busier….

      The queue began to get longer and longer until the end of the front door.. The shop was so packed with people..People were chit-chatting.. laughing.. BAbies were crying and screaming… Yet, there’s only 3 people workign in the shop… Could anyone imagine how it’s like? ONly 3 people to manage the store?????

       LIterally, i was stationed on the bar from opening till closing apart from my break. I thought it might get better after my break and obviously i was so wrong!!!!!!!! The order never stop since i’m back from my meal. What On Earth is GOING ON??????? I was literally standing there making drinks nonstop for 4hours… Not even 1 minute break.

       Each time i looked up when i thought i’m about to finish all the drinks, i’ll see more cups lining up until the cashier point… Customers still keep coming in and queueing up till the door!!! I was thinking… ” WTH! Where do these people come from??? ” It was so abnormally BuSY… It was HORRENDOUS!!!!! I used to be realli patience but today i had lost my cool….. This were so mess up… Those who did the closing had left everything in a mess which make my work more troublesome for today and it really pissed me off!

       I knew i was able to make like 20 over drinks in a row..Somehow, today there’s a greater breakthrough… I never expect myself to make approximately 65-75 drinks in every hour… Which is over 200 drinks for 4hours consecutively without any break! I must have been like a machine throughout the hours. Surprisingly…i managed it so well to an extent that there were no complaints from any customers at ALL… NOt a SINGLe complaint!!! I really salute myself and was so proud for this time! If only manager and district manager would give a damn …to watch the recording on the camera for today…..
      As usual, the B**** was trying to get away from responsibilities during that SUPER duper Peak hours… by hiding behind pretending to do some washing up..or by doing the cafe.. leaving me with all the drinks and with the supervisor on the till. Well, at least she still help to make me some bases that i need when asked… 3 of us were so worn out and our brains were so damn dead… Even, when the customer ordered his drinks and pay for it; my supervisor pass him an empty cup after taking his money.. The customer was dumb-founded, staring blank at him! Then only he realised what he was doing and quickly pass the cup over to me… They both just start laughing over this…I believe the customer would have think ” What??? Am i going to make my own drinks??”.

     Supervisor was saying we are not going to make any bases for tomorrow, nor do any restock, nor do the coffee of the day….. Yet, i’m the one who will be opening with another supervisor for tommorrow morning.. In the end, i still clean all the bar as clean as usual…. Restock everything…. Tried to make at least one base for each….However, i knew tomorrow will be another crazy morning… ‘Coz.. i’ve used literally all the MILK in the fridges… All the bases…. Even the soya milk….. Basically, there’s nothign left.. Unless new stocks will be delivered by tomorrow! I am sooooooooo…………NOT going to grind the coffee nor do the bases tomorrow morning!!!!

       If it was the B***** or the supervisor on the bar today, i REALLY don’t think they’ll be able to manage those drinks….. FOr sure, there’ll be great delay in delivering those drinks and those drinks handed to customers will be Extremely poor quality and a big mess… Coz these are what happened all the time when it’s busy, although is not as CRAZY as today.. SO, i really doubt it if it’s them doing it today! Everything i’ll think what’s the heck am i doing? Being so efficient and effective to save their asses while all the credits go to them in the end??? I should have acted stupid!. IN the end of the day, i’ll still put on a smile to customers, apologise for any delay and trying to provide an excellent CS!!!…

      Apart from all these, there’s a small incident happened while i’m serving a customer.. Her baby cant stop crying while his mom was waiting for the drinks next to the bar… I was trying to help and say ” oh… dont cry, boy…..” … I was so dumb-founded and shocked for what happened 1 minute after i finished my words…. The boy straight away start crying all out loud right in front of me! Gosh…. If only others could see that scene at the moment.. My supervisor stood next to me was shocked as well… It was so funny yet so… such unexpected!!!! I’m so glad that i managed to stop him from crying and be quiet right after… by making him a BC which he loved it so much… Thank GOd!!!!! What a BOY!!!

    Halloween just ended 2 days ago. The store was setup in a halloween mood, some baristas were dressed up with a horn or a witch hat as well. My manager was trying to put a super huge red+black witch hat on top of my head, but i insisted not to wear it. It would be so weird to have fish net from the hat covering my face while i’m on the bar making drinks for customers. There’s no way i’m gonna wear it. Thus, it’s gonna slow me down in my work. THank you very for her mercy that she gave in upon my refuse. Although i never really celebrate halloween, but i’m not in the mood for it either for now.. However, that night, i actually saw pretty girls dressed up like catwoman with their pretty faces drawn like a cats and a tail behind their backs… Some dressed up like a black witch, just that she’s without the magic broom.. FOr guys, they dressed up in superman costume too.. IT’s so funny….

     Apart from that, there’s suppose to be a fireworks night last night, but it was raining cats and dogs. Almost everyone is wet, including me. I was so hoping to join the crowd after work, to watch the fireworks display but i missed it. As, i never expect that they will continue to play the fireworks in that heavy rain. 

     Speaking of raining, the weather has been so terrible these days. It’s so freezing and wet most of the time. I even have to wear two pants, two jackets when i got to work. MOst people have glove and scarf on to keep themselves warm, but i’m without it. As, i feel that i’m so dirty from work to have a nice scarf and glove on me. It would be such a waste. I rather let my hand freeze in the cold.
     Despite the crazy weather, it did snow few days ago. (Surprisingly). GOsh! It’s gorgeous! I love it so much when it snows. I was having fun out there in the snow, laying on top of the snow field. THis is just what i’ve ever wanted, i ever dreamt of… and i LOVE it LOTs…..I even rolled a super huge snow man which looks so like a pig. lolz. It’s quite different that the one i did last year. Last year is smaller and looks more like a snowman. :-P  I even tried the snow, it tasted just like ice. The scenary was so magnificient. Even the next day, it’s seen everywhere is topped with white snow….. It looks so beautiful! It actually took two days for the snow to melt in most places. My pig-alike snowman melted in the third day as well. Poor him… :-)  That snowed-nite was the only night that made me happy and relief of my fatigueness and stress… I hope it’ll snow again next month…..

     I’ve been working everday for the past few weeks for long hours, which really worn me out! On top of that, there’s a bitch who keeps flirting with one of the supervisor. Unfortunately, i was always scheduled to work with only two of them especially for the closing. That bitch is smart, undeniable.. and a big SnaKE as well.. Bloody hell, she’s so obviously FAKE!!! First, she’s good at skipping responsibility when everyone is busy. As, no one will have the time to actually observe and notice her slacking….Speaking of today, the supervisor rather kept himself insane with lots of drinks to make instead of asking her to do it together. I was so upset that i just ignore him as well and do other stuffs. HOwever, it didnt last long before i totally cant endure seeing him alone with all the drinks. Eventually, i went over to him and offer help which he did say ‘Yes, please!’ to me. One of my colleague was even funnier. She was saying that both the supervisor and the bitch might be kissing downstair or in the toilet when both of them were gone for awhile; leaving two of us on the till and bar with lots of customers to handle. lolz.. She’s a real joker!

     I actually feel better when that bitch gone home. At least, the supervisor is nicer to other two of us and is more ‘normal’! I’m so glad the day was over… FINALLY…. However, i got another bruises and bumps, and burns today. The stupid tong which slice my skin and flesh few days ago, the wound still left unhealed up till today. I am literally injured everywhere, especially all over my two hands and fingers. Uncountable cuts and burns… etc.. What the use of being such a quick, effective and efficient worker? When the snake+fake+slack bitch will eventually get credit? or others might…. The thought of quiting actually came across my mind today… But, i cant! No matter what, i still have to hang on! Not for the people, but for the money that i need… I have no option!

    Life gotta get going..So do I.. I’m so worn out that i’ve missed two classes… I really should make effort to attend classes this week… FIngers crossed that tomorrow will be ok!……Yawning~ Bedtime again….. Chaoz….

    Today is a crazy and hectic sunday. The shop is so busy since it opened at 10am. I was making drinks nonstop for hours until i had my lunch break. Then, the line still continue to be ‘Endless’… I had almost 10 drinks at once for all the time. I feel like a superwoman, either way, like a clown. Having to work both way, the hot drinks and the frappucino.

    While i’m trying to prepare the drinks ASAP for customers, the one on the till keeps making errors in marking the cups and getting customers’ orders right! WTH! Surprisingly, i’m still able to keep my cool. Just like what she said, i had too much patience for her. If she was me, she would be in great anger. Well, at least she did make the effort to thank me…

    Surprisingly, i was so eager to finish everything and go back home asap. I guess, i’m just too tired after the long hours and busy nonstop. The manager and supervisor keep asking me to do things coz i’m super fast and good. THis is the time, i’m feeling proud to be chinese! Kudos to all chinese…
     Cleaning the cafe and the toilets was easy tasks for me. I was surprisingly quick as usual. HOwever, things didnt go well when it almost comes to an end.. I had an accident.. I was so focus in cleaning the floor until i forgot the big heavy wooden chair that is right on top of my head. Suddenly, i felt something hitting me on the head. THe next second when i gained consciousness,  then only i realised that the chair had fell and hit my head hard before it reached the floor.

      At first, i thought it was nothing. Then, i started to feel dizzy. I felt as if i was floating in the middle of no where.. Hands gradually began to tremble.. I gradually felt like vomitting, but i didnt. I realised something was not right about me, apparently, i was still in a shock after the hard hit!

      My manager gave me a big bag of ice to put on my head. I continue to clean the floor with one hand, while the other holding on the bag of ice on top of my head. I was thinking, it must be hilarious! Imagine someone with a big bag of ice on the head, and keep moving around the shop wiv the hoover! Now, i really look like a clown!

      I was trying to endure until i finished all my job. Unfortunately, i still have to help the 3 of them to finish up theirs as well. That’s the bad side for being fast and effective–You need to do other’s job as well! I’m so damn idiot! After hanging on for half an hour, i knew i was getting worse.. I hope i wont become more stupid after this! What worries me was, ‘vomiting’. I hope i wont vomit. ‘Coz if i did, i’ll be in serious condition.

      I requested to leave before they finish their jobs and gave aunt a call right away. I was advised to go to hospital if tomorrow my current condition still persist. I really hope i’ll be fine, coz i still have to work at half past 6 tomorrow. Which mean, i’ll have to be awake by half past five in the morning. There’s not way i can go to any hospital!

      My vision gradually become blurry at the moment. A hot bath doesn’t make me alert either. At least, my hands do not tremble that serious anymore. However, the dizziness still persist. I could hardly stand or walk stably. Damn stupid high chair! I wish i could break it into pieces… (If there’s anything happen to me!!! )

      Apart from the lousy weather and all the fags wat work, this is indeed a very cold september. First, i missed the big picture and event back home… Second, i’m about to miss my buddy’s wedding. Thirdly, i’m so off dead with my disso as the dateline is just around the corner..

       It has been a year since i came here. In retrospect, what i’m feeling now is far different than what i were feeling when i first came. On top of that, i understood more in retrospect and is able to see clearly the differences between loads of stuffs. Things will never be the same as how it was, so as human. People is dynamic and they change in accordance to the time which flies.

       Sometimes we look back and wonder what would have happen if we didnt make the decision or take the step we had taken? The outcomes will never be the same. However, there’s always a balance of both thing. Is either you get something and lose other in return; and vice versa. The point is, do not ever regret every single step that we had taken. We may sigh..may feel sorry..may be sad..but we should never regret no matter what…

        Having stepped foot on a stranger place and mingled with diversed group of people, i was able to widen my eyesight…broaden my knowledge..Many always look at others and feel that the country should be much better than ours… However, how many actually get to gain good experiences while away from home country? Sometimes, luck is really important. Without luck, you may just suffer in a foreign country instead of enjoying yourself. Sometimes it’s how you look at things and how you sort things out….Overall, it’s a combination of many lil bits…

         It was quite a relief that i haven’t had anyone cursing or criticising right at my face for being a chinese. So far, i had one malaysian keep telling me he and other gal or guy friends had that experience when they’re walking on the street. It was pretty much a very unfortunate incident… The  thing that make me feel  proud of being a Malaysian is that i am not from China. It was because the Whites realli look down on those Chinese, which to them is from china. Apart from their weakness in english, i really dont think the chinese is any idiot or lazy than the local. In fact, those chinese are their biggest source of incomes especially in the education field.

          I encountered one incident yesterday where there were two young kids trying to steal my mobile. Bloody hell… First, they approach me then pretending to ask for the time. Secondly, one asked if they could borrow my phone. I was kind enough to smile and replied ‘NO’ to them. THen, the stupid idiot say ‘common, i’ll give u my glove (which is a bloody lousy football gloves)’. Both of them started to get really really close to me as if they’re gonna snatch my stuffs if i insist not giving them. Damn..MothaF*er…. Do they actually think i would want their rubbish glove? So silly..  I just zipped up my moblie in my pocket, continue walking and just ignored them… If they ever attack me..i swear to god, i’m gonna beat ‘em up no matter what.. They F*king assholes!!!!!! 没家教的傻俾！！！！ This stupid act of ‘em will only raise the anger of others toward the English/Whites.. They are so stupid…

          The same day, i was walking on the street then i saw one old lady dragging a heavy hand luggage on her own.. I walked up to her and offered to give a hand with the luggage. She complained to me that it was very heavy but she’ll be alright as she lives nearby. There is a small hill to climb up to which leads to her house, i doubt it’s near…. I was thinking, where’s her children? Another thing that i would be very proud of myself and with my nation, is that, at least we wouldn’t let an old lady or man walk on the street alone thus with heavy stuffs. Over here, the elderly is mostly on their own;either on wheel chair, with walking stick, or a kind of moving vehicle that is meant of the elderly…… You could hardly see a young person holding their arms next to them, helping them…. NOt even their family members.. REalli a waste of money, time, effort….to raise the kids and end up dumping them on their own… Raised to f*king useless kids..In turn, the requirements for homecare is the highest in this country.. No one bother to look after the disabled, the elderly; therefore, more homecare centres are built to hire people to look after them. What a SHAME.. what a PITY…… If anyone ever dare to treat my family like this, i wont take things easy with them!!! Bloody HeLll!!!!!!

       For godsake, do not ever treat your family like that.. Try to look back at how hard, how they struggle to raise us, to care for s… to protect us no matter what…. Do not thank them by dumping ‘em alone…

        Nothing had been going on very well for me lately… Despite, i’ve got myself a job. A very tiring job. First few days of work, i felt that i’m just like nothing else but a machine that function in fast pace. End of work, i’ll be left with burnt + cut  fingers, swollen legs , aching body…..It has been years since i last did a job like this. I am really old and useless now.

        I had been having this thought over and over again while working… Having worked in a big prestige company before and earn quite a prospective incoming, but now have to come back to  lower level of working class, it may be real difficult for lotsa people. It’s just like those who had became rich and went bankrupt where they gotta start everything from scratch. Some may be too proud to let go of their pride and be ‘under’ others, some may struggle to work hard as a cheap labor after having those lucrative wages before…..

           My first and second day of work were alright, despite of being treated like a multi-tasked machine who worked non-stop without break. "Clean this , clean that… — Done? — Do this, do that…". Lotsa instructions / commands. I would say, there’s no time for a loo or fag at all. :-P  Despite all these, what was great is when mgr Sophie who hired me, will suddenly showed up behind out of no where and said " Well done, reb. You’ve done an excellent job. I was so surprised that you’ve picked things up very well and quickly" … Hmm… "Motivation!!!"  That’s it! Encouragement and motivation are essential for employee relation, as a key to drive performance!!!!

             Then my 3rd day, it was quite a sad day for me though…I was quite demotivated and down that day. The polish supervisor- F, just keep giving me hard times.. Whatever i did were never right, yet all shit jobs were given to me while another polish gal was protected with easy tasks.

            Today is another hectic day and had  woked till very late. I really wish i can have a great massage and relax for now. Why they dont have cheap yet excellent massage here?

               I wish i could have 48hours per day….It’s so damn late now after resting for awhile. Time for bed.. 2mrw is another tiring day which start at 6 in the morning…

Things are coming to an end after passing through all the hectic life for the past semester. Looking back at what i’ve gone through, i seems to had missed lotsa things in my life here. Students get together into their own ‘clique’, but nothing much are done together other than courseworks and gossiping. When all is coming to an end, then only we realize that we had never actually get together and have fun. Now, some are back to their country for good. Whilst, others had moved to different places. We are all being apart from each other. It is harder for us to get together again and hang out.
Now comes to the topic of “justice” in the university. We had always knew that there is no true justice exist in this world. No one can really justify how ‘fair’ a justice system could be. Unfairness could happen at anytime, anywhere. The same goes for the “justice system” in the university. We always learn about lotsa theories and terms from the book, how someone should behave and act while dealing with other people. However, how many really practices what had been taught and learned?
Are teachers/tutors/lecturers always being fair in their teaching, in their treatments to their students, in their marking on students’ works? HOw certain that there is no “bias” exist? How efficient is the marking system/scheme? I would say that it depends on individuals. Some are really nice, responsible, no bias, etc. Some are arrogant, mean, hipokrit and judge people with their own perception. One thing we must always bare in mind is that “DO NOT EVER LOOK DOWN AT PEOPLE!”. or “TAKE OTHERS EASY”.
With the experiences i for the past two semester, i can clearly stated out who had been a good lecturer and who had not. I would say that i had full respect for those who treated their student fairly and in the rightful way, and vice versa. Those who hadn’t, i don’t mind telling the public the truth about them. Just because you are being address as “DR. XXX”. So what?! It doesnt mean you’re high up above others. It doesnt mean you have the rights to look at others with ‘colored-eye’. It definately doesn’t mean what you see, what you know is always RIGHT/CORRECT! Of course, it doesn’t mean you have the privillege to ‘discriminate’ people.
Such a great ashame that this kind of lecture, having given the title of “Dr.xxx”, yet behaved like such a disgusting people. Having put on a smile on the face but with a sharp knife hidden behind the back, always ready to stab people at anytime. This is what i hate most, a hipokrit! We have this kind of people in our uni as well. I had a bad yet frustrating experience with this particular lecturer. I regret that i actually liked her at the first place, especially when she mentioned that she’s a regular visitor to Malaysia! Having accused of something that i didnt commit and capped my coursework mark at the minimum grade, i would say that i hate this person. She sux to the CORE! I would never forget what she had said to me! All the mean words coming out from her mouth, made me feel disgusting.
All her bullshits about how she know the great efforts that i’ve put into the work, but she has to be fair to all other students, etc.. This is just an act of a hipokrit. She could never know how it feel. Having put in all the efforts and time, yet your grade is degraded. On top of that, you’re being “labeled” as someone who violated the rules.Thus, having said that she doubt there would be much difference for my grade after looking at my previous work. I had proved her WRONG! Just because i failed the first coursework, it doesnt mean i cant make tremendous improvement for the second one.
In the end, my work shown that i deserve a B1 which was penalized and capped at C3.If not owing to her, i would have got a better grade for the module. At least, i’ve shown and proved that i could make a tremendous improvement. If i am given a chance, i really want to throw some words right on her face. It would be ” DO NOT EVER UNDERESTIMATE PEOPLE!”. What i hate most is having people accuse me of something i do not commit but I know nothing would change if i make an official complaint on her. ‘Coz there is no justice in the uni’s system as well. There’s always a ‘dark-side’ at all places.